I've been attending Chichester Chamber of Commerce events for more than 20 years. I've met hundreds of people, made some great friends, picked up business, passed business on and probably consumed more than my fair share of complimentary wine and sausage rolls along the way. I've also attended more AGMs than I care to remember.
Now, let's be fair. An AGM is rarely the highlight of anyone's social calendar. There's usually an agenda, some reports, a bit of voting and the occasional speech that makes you wonder whether you've accidentally wandered into the wrong meeting.
But the recent Chichester Chamber AGM was rather different. It was loud, funny, occasionally rude, full of heckling and, thankfully, short. There was even pizza. What's not to like?
Paul Rolfe was stepping down after years of leadership, Julian Roberts was taking over, and a room full of familiar faces had gathered to see the changing of the guard. Julian, incidentally, was doing a splendid job of being the grown-up in the room, which was probably just as well.
And then there was Ian Moore...
Ian was talking about the recent Chamber Business Awards and, rather unnecessarily I thought, decided to remind everyone that I hadn't won.
"BASTARD!" I shouted from the audience.
Fortunately, Ian and I have known each other for years, and our exchanges are something of a tradition. He gives as good as he gets, and everyone knows it's good-natured banter. In fact, I have enormous respect for Ian. He's a good friend, and I love him dearly, although I do wish he'd stop reminding people about my unsuccessful attempts at winning awards.
And that's rather the point. I wouldn't dream of shouting something like that at someone I'd just met. Well, probably not. But thinking about the evening afterwards, something occurred to me.
You don't build relationships by being outrageous. You can be outrageous because you've built the relationships.
There's quite an important distinction, and it's one that goes well beyond a bit of banter at a Chamber AGM.
It's not about collecting business cards
We're constantly being told that networking is about making connections, building relationships and getting ourselves out there. All perfectly sensible advice, but I sometimes wonder whether we make the whole thing rather more complicated than it needs to be.
Over time, those conversations become relationships. Some become friendships. Some lead to business, sometimes years after you first met. Others never result in a penny changing hands, but that doesn't make them any less valuable. I've always believed that if you take a genuine interest in people, rather than simply looking for the next opportunity, the business tends to look after itself.
And once that trust is established, you can relax a bit. You can disagree with someone, challenge their thinking, take the mickey out of them and know that they'll understand the spirit in which it's intended. You don't have to be constantly on your best behaviour or worry about saying precisely the right thing, because the relationship is strong enough to accommodate a bit of honesty, humour and the occasional difference of opinion.
The same goes for our clients
Some of the people we work with at Wilson Design Associates have been with us for 10, 15, even 20 years. They don't expect me to agree with every idea they have, and I certainly don't expect them to agree with every idea I come up with. That's part of what makes those relationships work.
Sometimes the most useful thing I can do is tell a client that I think they're heading in the wrong direction. Perhaps their proposed design isn't going to communicate what they want it to, or they've become so attached to an idea that they've lost sight of what they're trying to achieve. Having that conversation is much easier when you've spent years demonstrating that you've got their best interests at heart.
Of course, trust doesn't appear overnight. It's built by doing what you say you're going to do, delivering on your promises, being there when someone needs help and occasionally going a little further than expected. None of that is particularly revolutionary, but it's surprising how often the simple things make the biggest difference.
And sometimes, once you've done all that, you can just have a laugh together. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Twenty years of turning up
Looking around the room at the Chamber AGM, I was reminded just how many good people I've got to know through being involved in the local business community. Some have become clients, some suppliers, some collaborators and many have simply become friends. Not bad for a few decades of turning up, having conversations and occasionally being outrageous!
So thank you to everyone who made the evening such good fun, particularly to Paul for his years of leadership and to Julian for taking on the role. I wish him every success, although I suspect he'll have his work cut out keeping some of us in order.
And to Ian, thank you for providing the entertainment. I'll forgive you for mentioning the awards. Eventually.
I'll try to behave myself at the next Chamber event, although after more than 20 years, I wouldn't hold your breath.
